The foundations of a plan are in well laid precautions

When I said I hope it doesn't spread like wildfire I didn't expect it too, however after opening the door to work today I became educated in what a backdraft is.  My very being in the room was like oxygen to a smoldering mess of embers, all ready to fire off questions like a loaded shotgun.  It wasn't like a red carpet event, I wasn't the toast of the town, more the subject of incredulous looks and glares, sarcastic calls of Romeo echoed throughout.  Believe it or not I didn't mind, the numbness of work  often leads to excessive interest in gossip and if they have nothing else to talk/think about then I'm happy to provide them with some food for thought.  The reason this has generated so much interest is that my actions are out of character, never in my eight sad years there have I successfully hit on someone.  I even think Sue from accounts is a bit jealous, I over heard her talking to Phil in the kitchen about how she thinks Cindy is fake, dipsy and all hairspray.  I'm growing in confidence just thinking about this, has Sue always fancied me a bit?  Who knows, but some harmless flirting to test the water might be a good idea.  Thinking about it she is married though, and for ten years I think, yet this could simply mean she's bored, ready for a new exercise, not going to waste too much brain power on this one though, got tomorrow night to think of.

There's a local pub/restaurant near to where I live, it has a charming open fire place, romantic?  Sure it is, and I'm going to strategically place her so close to it she'll have to shed layers, which is genius considering she will already be removing her clothes before shes even had a drink.  Downside is that should she only have one layer on in the first place then she'll have to sweat it out like a pig, which is amusing me already, she's probably too polite to ask to move tables.

I've taken all necessary precautions, washed my bed sheets, removed the crusty cum filled sock from under my mattress, taken the mouldy tea cup out of my room and most importantly ejected the porn disk from the DVD player.  I don't want any slip-ups should she be brave enough to accept the world's most famous and renowned euphemism, 'coffee' at the end of the night.  I, like all other men, will naturally assume she has taken her necessary precautions by swallowing the magic pill.  Tomorrow night is date night...

(Note from Mr Pensive, if anyone from the USA reads this then can you get in touch with him?)